Where?

Things have been crazy lately. Started a new job, the holiday season just passed. I haven’t gotten the chance to write at all and for that I’m sorry.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about places lately. What would the ideal place to wait out the zombie apocalypse? In Dawn of the Dead: stuck in a mall. While there would be many amenities, like beds and clothes, a large space, gates for fortification… what about food? I realize there are many places to eat in the food court, but it’s likely that they rely more on fresh and frozen foods rather than canned. Without any power, the freezers and refrigerators wouldn’t work and the food would go bad.

Then there’s the graphic novel of The Walking Dead, the group does not go to the CDC, but to a prison. A prison is fortified, likely has a large stash of canned food meant for the inmates, and has enough space to hold many people. There’s also probably a big stash of emergency weapons for staff in the event of a riot. Pretty good, right?

Most people would be stuck in their homes. Many homes don’t have large stocks of cans, unless they’re the type that are waiting for an impending apocalypse, like Y2K. Large windows pose a danger, as do the lack of bars and space. Some houses are also in valleys, which isn’t as desirable as on a hill. It’s more difficult to go up than down.

Mark and I have decided that, although we have too many windows and a lack of firepower, the house is relatively sound. We’re on a hill on all sides and have an unbelievable cache of canned and dry goods. We’d be okay for a month or two, I suppose.

Where would your ideal place be? Do you think your house would be a decent place to hole up?

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Published in: on January 4, 2011 at 8:37 am  Leave a Comment  
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Smaller Population, Fewer Idiots?

If the zombie apocalypse were to hit, who would you want to be “stuck with” in your militia of survivors? Who would be the most valuable, the least valuable?

I don’t care if he’s valuable or not. Burt is coming with me

How could anyone leave that behind?

Ideally, you’d want a mechanic, a doctor, a weapons specialist, a chef, and no old or sick people. Bear Grylls would be awesome to be with, too. However, who you get stuck with isn’t always up to you. I’d want to be stuck with Mark, obviously. He’s very practical and never fails to make me laugh. My brother Zach would be a good one, too, because he’s strong and he’s an incredible shot. He also makes me laugh. I think laughter would be an important part of survival. I’d be the chef, because I’m a really great cook, but depending on the survival of animals, I may need someone with a strong stomach to do the butchering. Another woman would be great so I wouldn’t be completely surrounded by testosterone.

And I do have to say… just because someone isn’t mentioned doesn’t mean I’d rather they be eaten by zombies. And you don’t have to defend yourself and say how you’d be useful. This is a hypothetical situation, so don’t get your panties in a bunch.

A horticulturalist would be good to have, so edible and inedible plants could be properly distinguished. A carpenter to build shelters. Lots of strong people to do digging, building, moving, etc. I could go on.

What do you think? Did I miss anyone that could be vital to survival? Who would you want to have with you?

Photo from: Me & my Macbook Pro

Foodology

I love food. Who doesn’t love food? Kate Moss, that’s who. The biggest problem in surviving a zombie apocalypse is not how to fend off the undead, but how to avoid dying of starvation. There are expiration dates on canned goods and, as we learned in Zombieland, there is an expiration date on Twinkies, too. Eventually, canned food would go bad or run out, and people would be left in a situation like The Road in which there is literally NO FOOD.

I shudder to think about that.

Unlike The Road, though, plant life would survive, so fruits and vegetables would likely still be a part of people’s diets. However, growing fruits and vegetables requires farming and farming requires staying in one spot. This could be a problem. And, unless you travel down South where it never gets cold, you’re looking at very long winters.

As for hunting and fishing, it all depends on what sort of zombies these are. If they’re the kind that leave animals alone and go solely for human flesh, you’re golden. However, if they’re the kind that will eat any living creature, you’re looking at the possible extinction of many animals that people could live on, like cows, chickens, deer, pigs, etc.

And would zombies try to eat fish? Would they tread through the waters of the rivers to grab some salmon? Their poor motor skills would probably make that impossible, but you never know.

I, for one, would miss a lot of foods were there to be a zombie apocalypse. Waffles. Sushi. Pizza. French bread. Butter. This:

Godly Goodness

Without electricity and the ability to harvest and refine wheat, there would be no bread. NO BREAD! I am a huge carb addict, and this thought terrifies me. Cookies? Gross, I won’t miss that crap. A giant baguette with butter? How could I ever live without it?! I am such a fat kid, it’s not even funny. But, in a zombie apocalypse, I would have to. We’d all have to.

So, what food would you miss the most after the end of the world?

 

Photo from: http://esa.org

Published in: on December 10, 2010 at 9:01 am  Comments (1)  
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