Review: Zombie Strippers!

Last night, Mark, after a long day of working at home due to the blizzard, decided he wanted to watch a movie. Coincidentally, I wanted to watch one too. The difference was that he likely wanted to watch an Akira Kurosawa film (I’d promised if he watched The Notebook, I’d watch 3 Kurosawa films. I have yet to fulfill this promise), while I wanted to watch something quite different. Guess who won out?

A ridiculously over the top sci-fi/military/stripper/zombie/disease movie, Zombie Strippers features former porn star Jenna Jameson and cult legend Robert Englund. Just like Planet Terror, this film is not to be taken too seriously.

Boobs and blood are the main events in Zombie Strippers, which makes this movie far from safe for children or the faint of heart.

When a zombie virus wreaks havoc on a top-secret lab and an infected gets out and breaks into a strip club, it results in women with incredible stripping skills and the desire to do nothing but take their clothes off on stage and feast on human flesh. The movie is filled with cheesy one-liners and most of the acting is just plain terrible.

The women, especially Jenna Jameson, are gorgeous until they begin to decompose, and then they get just plain nasty. The patrons don’t seem to mind that rotting corpses are dancing for dollars. The overly straight and stiff special-ops military group comes in and cleans house, putting an end to the zombie stripper bloodbath. The soundtrack is all hard metal, which isn’t necessarily the greatest dancing music, but I guess it’s the norm for horror films. The make up is actually quite fantastic.

The end gets beyond not okay and beyond gross, with feats of impossibility that throw out the laws of physics and common sense. And there’s a little trick with a few ping pong balls that is just cringe-worthy.

Would I recommend it? Not really. It’s great for a laugh and a couple of boob shots, but I found myself a little weary with its awfulness about halfway through. This was the second time I’d seen it, too, so that could be part of the problem. Perhaps watching it for the first time has a novelty to it that pushes the viewer to watch it all the way through. I’d give it a glance, but don’t go expecting much. It’s pretty damn bad.

To quote Mark, “I think this is the worst movie I’ve ever seen.”

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Published in: on December 27, 2010 at 7:34 pm  Leave a Comment  
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